Tuesday June 1, 2010

I'm bummed I missed writing the past couple of days.  Especially since it makes it so hard to write again when you feel so behind.  Let's see.  Friday was a great day.  It was productive and we had a blast as a family at the YW bbq at the Rebarchik home.  I love my ward friends!  After we feasted on yummy summer bbq food, we all went and watched the fireworks there in Burlington (they were to celebrate Chocolatefest and Memorial Day).  It was awesome.  My favorite part was watching the joy on my kids' faces and the reflection of the fireworks in their lit up eyes.  Being a mom is the best!  I have no idea what happened to me on Saturday.  It was very hot and I was very bored and grumpy.  Robert was busy being a wonderful husband and working on our yard, taking the Christmas lights down, working on my dad's yard and fixing our toilet.  And I was a butt and resented him for it.  The whole time I was mad at myself for my crappy attitude but I just couldn't break it.  Ughhh...  Sunday was a little better.  I enjoyed church but Robert and I had gotten in a petty dumb argument the night before and we were so distant with each other.  There was tension between us and I hated it.  But apparently I couldn't let go of my pride and apologize and forgive.  What a waste of time.  After church we had to wait an hour and a half to talk to the Bishop.  It was hot, the kids were super restless and I was just irritated.  I was trying not to be but I just couldn't seem to help it.  I left the Bishop's office feeling very down and depressed.  We were talking with him about our financial situation again and I hate it.  I hate that we need help.  I hate even admitting it because I know the Bishop doesn't intend for me to feel this way, but I feel like such a burden to him and I feel like he really looks down on us.  I prayed all day to get rid of these feelings and thought a lot about one of Elder Bednar's GC talks about not taking offense.  So that's what I prayed for- help at not taking offense.  Bishop is awesome and it must just be the adversary trying to get in my head about him- but I won't let him.  After coming home and resting and reading scriptures I felt better.  I made dinner and after dinner we took a nice little family Sunday walk which helped my downcast mood.  Yesterday was a much better day.  We had a lot of fun as a family at our ward Memorial Day pancake breakfast.  Robert decided to enter the pancake eating contest and despite my urging him to stop and that he was gonna feel sick and be complaining all day, he ended up eating 20 pancakes only to be defeated by an Elder who ate 21.  It was a harsh blow.  I was proud of my man for his efforts but knew he was gonna be complainin' later.  And I was right.  After we made a stop at the store and went home and packed up a bbq pic-nic, we and my dad & fam headed over to Genoa City park for some Memorial Day fun.  My dad's back was hurting so I felt bad for him about that but it ended up being real nice.  We had the whole park to ourselves, it was overcast and not too hot and the kids had a blast playing on the playground and in the sand.  We enjoyed some hot dogs from the grill (Robert, however wanted nothing to do with food and was complaining about feeling sick the whole time) and other munchies.  We had nice conversation, played a lil' badmitton and just had a nice, relaxing time.  After that we came home and rested a bit.  Then later, for FHE, we met up with my dad & fam at my Roath Grandparent's graveside.  Before they got there we talked with Baily about what happens when people die and about how our family can be together forever because we were sealed in the temple.  It was sweet.  When my Dad & Patty got their, there was a very tender feeling present as we remembered my sweet Grandparents.  They left and my little fam and I went and ate at Dog & Suds.  It was pretty good but not great and too expensive.  We had a nice time together as a family though.  Today was a pretty good day.  Robert was back to work and I got to work on picking up my house.  I also spent a good time with my scripture study and that felt wonderful.  I started to work on our budget and that was very stressful.  We need a miracle.  I have no idea how we're going to make it on what we're making right now.  It's not possible.  However, I don't feel hopeless.  I will trust in the Lord and His promises and I know we will find a way to get out of this.  I don't know how, but I know we will.  I have faith in my Savior and that gives me hope.  My poor hubby is not feeling well at all so he came home, was so sweet but I could tell he was not feeling well so he went to bed pretty early.  I hope he feels better soon!  Tomorrow's more of the deep cleaning and laundry.  And for now- I shall go to bed before I give into the temptation to play Solitaire or Crossword puzzles.  My goals for this week are to not play games on the computer and not to yell or cuss.  So far I haven't played any games and I'm working on the other 2.  Good night!


6.1- cold creamy chocolate milk- can't get enough!, sausage for breakfast, kids were well-behaved today, enjoyed a nice spiritual feast with my scripture study today- loved Elder Cristofferson's talk "Moral Discipline," house all picked up, Glee <3, Baily's sweet bedtime prayer, Rice Chex cereal