Sunday, September 5, 2010

Blessings

8.9- early morning storms, quiet morning time and prayer before kids woke up, cinnamon toast,

6.28- feeling some peace about our future,

6.27- made it to church on time for Sacrament:), great talks about Jesus, great talk with Bishop and left feeling comforted and at peace, cheese & crackers & summer sausage & grapes for snack after church-yum!, yummy taco salad dinner for Sunday dinner with dad and fam at our casa, great talk with them about moving- so grateful they are so loving & understanding- huge relief to have plans to move forward and better our situation!!, family bike ride, family movie night with Harry Potter

6.26- didn't feel sick today when I woke up- wahoo (been feeling sick the past couple of days), life's so much better when hubby gets home- so glad he conquered the basement with my 2 stubborn kiddos, early bed time for my kids, enjoyed some quiet scripture study

6.25- my husband's awesome- I just love him so much!!, yard sale at my dad's and B had a rice Krispie sale- she was so cute and excited about it, J was content watching tv while I took a little snooze to try and feel better, B had fun at friend's house and J and I were able to get our car back- it was less than we expected (thanks Dad & Patty for giving us a ride), trip to Wal-Mart and we enjoyed some "fru-fries" and a Reese's McFlurry (heaven in my mouth I tell you!!) and got some good food, watched kid's have a blast playing together outside, Robert made wings and frozen pizza for dinner, me and B watched Harry Potter and she was so into it- loved our movie time together

6.24- girls were happy in the morning and all giggly:), nice day with nice breeze and no humidity- windows open...aaah!, hubby home for the day- love that man!, easy going day, watching kids have a blast on slip & slide, power of prayer, popcorn & movie time with the fam, B had fun helping Grandma with her yard sale, nice evening family walk, kids in bed early, home-made Chex mix and movie with my hot man

6.23- snuggling with my babies during a crazy morning storm, USA WINS!!!- exciting game:), Sis. R.'s back in town and YW feels much better now, took our car to the shop to get the brakes fixed and praying we get it back soon and it's not a billion dollars, house is all cleaned up, the YW camp overnighter at my casa was crazy but went well- had nice visit from nice missionaries and got all of our camp preparation done

6.22- hubby's so sweet and loving to me- love that man!, egg and cheese sandwich, snuggling and loving my sweet little boy!, really do love studying the OT, leftover twice baked potatoes for lunch with DP- and DP flavored ice!, payment arrangements, $5 pizza from Dominos for dinner, Joaquin's family prayers are so dang sweet!, Walmart with my best girl, shower helped my aching back

6.21- sugar cookies!, rainy day- sorry I just love rain:), hubby's home for the day (he has to replace the brakes on the car but I'm still glad to have him home), shower time;), all my pretty flowers, making plans with my hubby about the future and feeling some resolve, nice chat with bro Beau on the phone, hanging outside with the fam even though it was hot & muggy, fam loved the dinner I made and were very grateful, simple but nice FHE & family scriptures at the table- think I'll keep doing at the table at end of dinner- kids do so much better paying attention, awesome eerie storm, going to bed with a clean house and clean kitchen
 
6.20- Happy Father's Day to my awesome dads (Dad & Gerald) & Grandpas (all are in Heaven now) and the best dad I could have asked for for my wee ones!!- I'm so blessed in this department!, virtue covenant for my Heavenly Father's Father's Day gift, Spirit was so strong during Sacrament meeting, exciting Brazilian World Cup game- love me some good soccer!, kitchen cleaned just in time for hubby to get home, made his fave dinner- spaghetti and garlic cheese bread with delicious home-made sugar cookies and cream cheese frosting, dropped off gift to my dad- love him!, reading time with Baily and while reading Friend talking the gospel with her, love the scriptures and loving reading the Psalms!

6.19- my babies were excited to see me this morning and missed me, my sweet girl is my savior- helped me not lose it completely with her sweet hugs and telling me how much she loves me, nice little nap time and movie time with my B and my boy, went and saw Toy Story 3 as a family and it was AWESOME!- kids loved it and watching their excitement (especially my sweet boy who is OBSESSED with Buzz and Woody and my little girl who was just so excited to go to the movies as a family) was just as good as the movie (of course the popcorn and soda and candy rocked too!), solace from my scriptures- loved reading Psalms tonight- they spoke to me and touched me and gave me so much hope, so grateful for prayer and repentance!

6.18- yummy breakfast (killer bran muffins!) to start off day with 2 awesome girls for Youth Conference, serving at Hawthorne Glen Park for service project- such awesome youth!, delicious sun sandwich lunch, chatting with other awesome youth leaders, awesome updates on USA World Cup game- we should have won but glad we didn't lose!, awesome thunder and rain storm, yummy pizza and salad for dinner, nice refreshing shower and scripture study at Sis. Lundberg's, sweet Spirit at devotional before dance- love our youth!, fun dance- Electric Slide and Cupid Shuffle baby!!, awesome drive home with gorgeous lightning storm and the fields looked magical with thousands of lightning bugs

6.17- Robert got up with kids since he went in to work a little later than usual and I got to rest in bed, egg and cheese sandwiches and chocolate milk- can't get enough of them!, peanut butter cookies, nice ride to Milwaukee for Youth Conference with windows down & music jammin' & beautiful country side, youth conference dance- love dances!, had fun with 2 great girls- nice Sis. Lundberg let us stay at her house

6.16- lemon cake-mmmm!, nice long time with scripture study and all caught up- loved Elder Packer's talk "Power of the Priesthood," hot shower helped my aching body, finally able to find enough help for Youth Conference-whew!, Robert home earlier and we all sat together for a yummy dinner- beef & broccoli stir fry, home-made peanut butter cookies, left Mutual early because only 2 girls showed up and not with the materials they needed, snuggling with my kiddos while watching Little Rascals, Robert put B to sleep so free time for me!, lovin' the book I'm reading- The Holy Road

6.15- egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast (I love cheese!), a much much better emotional day for me, playing outside with kids and pushing J on the swing for so long, nice little lunchtime with the kiddos, J went down for his nap nicely (he's been refusing it a lot lately:/), feasting in the scriptures, Baily's nice little walk with her grandma & grandpa, my beautiful flowers I love so much, playing tea party and restaurant with my best girl, more great World Cup soccer- Cristiano Ronaldo is hot and Brazilians are amazing!, I love rain!, lemon cake-mmmm!, managed to have FHE, bathe the kids and get them to bed with clean teeth and having read the BOM on what felt like a crazy night, cuddling and watching The Office with my hubby

6.14- rough, rough day, kids did well entertaining themselves, listening to my kid's laughing with each other, overhearing B apologizing to Joaquin without my asking her, World Cup soccer- texting Beau during Italy game (funny British commentators), life's so much better when hubby is home, family scriptures during dinner- kid's did better paying attention, nightime family bike ride in beautiful weather, reading Book of Mormon & Friend magazine with Baily, Robert put kids to sleep, smooching with my hubby

6.13- raspberry muffins, grateful for the Sacrament, love having whole family at church, beautiful baby blessing, YW meeting with the MM, summer sausage & cheese & crackers after church, Sunday nap & sound of rain, Sunday dinner/Jensen's bday dinner at Dad's house, watching Narnia and another little snooze

6.12- pretty chill day just hanging out at home, World Cup!- USA tied England, little bit of nice outside time, nice chat with Patty, family movie night- Alice & Wonderland and popcorn and chocolate

6.11- oh sweet prayer!, good morning delight, hubby's so sweet and loving, morning family prayer and scriptures- love the story of the Anti-Nephi-Lehis, pretty productive start to the day, peace while reading Pres. Uchtdorf's YW General Conference Talk "Your Own 'Happily Ever After'", A/C on a hot muggy day, movie night with me and the kiddos- Shrek, popcorn, soda & cheese & crackers, watching part of the World Cup (woot for World Cup starting!) kickoff with my kiddos and dancing our booties off for about 10 minutes, home-made pizza for dinner, quick walk (hot as Haities!) with my babes, laundry done and looking forward to my hot hubby being home all weekend

6.10- made it through a Thursday without breakdown!, bike ride with the kiddos, tickles with my buddy, loved the Glee finale online, enjoyed starting a new book "The Holy Road," nice outside play time while I got to read a little bit, bath time with no drama, Joaquin's sweet family prayer and how it calmed him down to go to sleep, sweet kisses from my hubby, carrot cake!, texting with all my fam- I'm so grateful to have so much loving family, watched part of Dances With Wolves with hubby

6.9- morning started off rough but after prayer got much better, time with just me and my girl as we ran errands- enjoyed singing Glee songs and chit-chatting... she really is my best friend!, got new checks and stocked up on the essentials, house picked up and made a yummy dinner and dessert for missionaries- red beef enchiladas with beans and rice and carrot cake with made-from-scratch cream cheese frosting (soooo good!), nice message and video from the Elders, had fun as a family at the ward clean up activity, had fun with my girls scooping ice cream- lots of laughs, new kennel for Koda- woot!, 2 ginormous Nesquicks from dear friend Macey- so grateful since I'm going through that stuff like crazy these days, first sighting of lightning bugs!, saying prayers with B

6.8- sound of rain falling and cool breeze from my bedroom window, Robert worked late today so he got to play with the kiddos this morning, morning family prayer and scriptures, lots of reading today on this rainy day (all caught up!), visit from my sweet VT, cheese quesadillas for lunch, once B's friend was gone- she and J were very well behaved and chillaxed for the day, camp meeting at the church- kids were happy to be out of the house and running and playing and I feel great about the progress we made and so much more ready for Girl's Camp!!, nice chat with Sis. R on the way home, kids went to bed without any fuss

6.7- very productive day, good start today with scripture study, floors nice and clean, smell of pinesol, laundry all done & put away- so grateful for running & hot water & modern day appliances, perfect weather- beautiful day, Baily had fun at Amber's house most of the day, J wasn't too rotten today, loved reading the June New Era today, yummy dinner made special for my hubby- his mom's meat and potatoes, awesome FHE about service (Pres. Monson's GC talk)- kids were pretty reverent and Baily was really involved and answered the questions so wonderfully, chocolate cream pie!, nice hot shower after long busy day, kept my goal not to waste time on computer, hubby gave me Priesthood blessing for aching teeth and horrible headache- so grateful to have a worthy Priesthood holder in my home

6.6- felt the Spirit so strongly during Sacrament and Sacrament/Testimony meeting- lots of testimony about prayer and Christ, made it through the rest of church with a very grumpy boy who refused to go to Nursery without breaking down, good Sunday dinner with dad & fam at home- broccoli & cheese soup with chicken sandwiches, nice rainy weather, family walk & bike ride, early to bed

6.5- another rainy day- love it!, working on my PP and learning more about my Savior and The Atonement, Elder Bednar's talk in this month's Ensign "Things As They Really Are," sweet loves from my best girl, lots of fun and good times at cousin Nate's graduation party- good to see so much family, B got a mattress for the top of her bunk bed (given to us by same people who gave us the bed!) and she is so excited about it, chocolate milk and Crispix for dinner for me, starting family fast, kids had fun in bath and smell so good afterword!, nice hot relaxing shower

6.4- hubby's day off!, home-made crepes with strawberries & whipped cream and hubby's perfect bacon for breakfast, playing Dr. with kids again, me and B made home-made chocolate chip cookies- so fun and so good!, coloring time with just me and the B and she kept complimenting me and telling me how much she loves me, perfect weather- rainy, cool breeze and overcast!, Sis. Dibb's General YW Conference talk "Be of a Good Courage," kids outside for a couple hours with Robert while I cleaned uninterrupted with good music, smell of pine-sol, nice drive with the windows down, a/c!, family movie night at home

6.3- submitted Baily's awesome caterpillar drawing to Friend magazine- she's turning out to be such a great artist and I'm so proud of her!, nice cooler weather:), chips & salsa, finally got all laundry done & put away, Patty came over to chat and it lifted my spirits- I was so grumpy, playing Dr. with kids, Joaquin's sweet family prayer, bedtime reading with my best girl, watched "Last of the Dogmen" with my hubby and we both made it through the whole movie!

6.2- awesome thunder & rain storm last night, soul prayer, grocery shoppin, Sis. Crager, stocked kitchen & pantry, deep freezer, a/c, good start on laundry, stormy weather and it's finally cooler!, beautiful clouds and nice peaceful drive with great music on the drive to Mutual, fun Mutual night- 2 hours to forget my worries was so nice, quiet trip to Walmart all by myself

6.1- cold creamy chocolate milk- can't get enough!, sausage for breakfast, kids were well-behaved today, enjoyed a nice spiritual feast with my scripture study today- loved Elder Cristofferson's talk "Moral Discipline," house all picked up, Glee :) , Baily's sweet bedtime prayer, Rice Chex cereal

5.31- had a blast at the ward Memorial day pancake breakfast- Robert barely lost the pancake eating contest (he ate 20 and the Elder who beat him ate 21!), got some bills paid, fun hot dog bbq and fun times at Genoa City park with Dad & fam, nice phone conversation with Beau, blocks & Beauty & The Beast with my Baily Bug, went to Roath Grandparents graveside & talked about death & eternal families for FHE (was touched by how Patty was touched) and then Dog & Suds for yummy food & ice cream, family all showered & clean & smelling great, reading time with Baily

Monday, June 21, 2010

Blessings 6/14-20

6.20- Happy Father's Day to my awesome dads (Dad & Gerald) & Grandpas (all are in Heaven now) and the best dad I could have asked for for my wee ones!!- I'm so blessed in this department!, virtue covenant for my Heavenly Father's Father's Day gift, Spirit was so strong during Sacrament meeting, exciting Brazilian World Cup game- love me some good soccer!, kitchen cleaned just in time for hubby to get home, made his fave dinner- spaghetti and garlic cheese bread with delicious home-made sugar cookies and cream cheese frosting, dropped off gift to my dad- love him!, reading time with Baily and while reading Friend talking the gospel with her, love the scriptures and loving reading the Psalms!

6.19- my babies were excited to see me this morning and missed me, my sweet girl is my savior- helped me not lose it completely with her sweet hugs and telling me how much she loves me, nice little nap time and movie time with my B and my boy, went and saw Toy Story 3 as a family and it was AWESOME!- kids loved it and watching their excitement (especially my sweet boy who is OBSESSED with Buzz and Woody and my little girl who was just so excited to go to the movies as a family) was just as good as the movie (of course the popcorn and soda and candy rocked too!), solace from my scriptures- loved reading Psalms tonight- they spoke to me and touched me and gave me so much hope, so grateful for prayer and repentance!

6.18- yummy breakfast (killer bran muffins!) to start off day with 2 awesome girls for Youth Conference, serving at Hawthorne Glen Park for service project- such awesome youth!, delicious sun sandwich lunch, chatting with other awesome youth leaders, awesome updates on USA World Cup game- we should have won but glad we didn't lose!, awesome thunder and rain storm, yummy pizza and salad for dinner, nice refreshing shower and scripture study at Sis. Lundberg's, sweet Spirit at devotional before dance- love our youth!, fun dance- Electric Slide and Cupid Shuffle baby!!, awesome drive home with gorgeous lightning storm and the fields looked magical with thousands of lightning bugs

6.17- Robert got up with kids since he went in to work a little later than usual and I got to rest in bed, egg and cheese sandwiches and chocolate milk- can't get enough of them!, peanut butter cookies, nice ride to Milwaukee for Youth Conference with windows down & music jammin' & beautiful country side, youth conference dance- love dances!, had fun with 2 great girls- nice Sis. Lundberg let us stay at her house

6.16- lemon cake-mmmm!, nice long time with scripture study and all caught up- loved Elder Packer's talk "Power of the Priesthood," hot shower helped my aching body, finally able to find enough help for Youth Conference-whew!, Robert home earlier and we all sat together for a yummy dinner- beef & broccoli stir fry, home-made peanut butter cookies, left Mutual early because only 2 girls showed up and not with the materials they needed, snuggling with my kiddos while watching Little Rascals, Robert put B to sleep so free time for me!, lovin' the book I'm reading- The Holy Road

6.15- egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast (I love cheese!), a much much better emotional day for me, playing outside with kids and pushing J on the swing for so long, nice little lunchtime with the kiddos, J went down for his nap nicely (he's been refusing it a lot lately:/), feasting in the scriptures, Baily's nice little walk with her grandma & grandpa, my beautiful flowers I love so much, playing tea party and restaurant with my best girl, more great World Cup soccer- Cristiano Ronaldo is hot and Brazilians are amazing!, I love rain!, lemon cake-mmmm!, managed to have FHE, bathe the kids and get them to bed with clean teeth and having read the BOM on what felt like a crazy night, cuddling and watching The Office with my hubby

6.14- rough, rough day, kids did well entertaining themselves, listening to my kid's laughing with each other, overhearing B apologizing to Joaquin without my asking her, World Cup soccer- texting Beau during Italy game (funny British commentators), life's so much better when hubby is home, family scriptures during dinner- kid's did better paying attention, nightime family bike ride in beautiful weather, reading Book of Mormon & Friend magazine with Baily, Robert put kids to sleep, smooching with my hubby

Good Things to Come

This is just what I needed to hear right now. I can so relate to this young family. I'm so grateful for this message!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Blessings 6/7-13

6.13- raspberry muffins, grateful for the Sacrament, love having whole family at church, beautiful baby blessing, YW meeting with the MM, summer sausage & cheese & crackers after church, Sunday nap & sound of rain, Sunday dinner/Jensen's bday dinner at Dad's house, watching Narnia and another little snooze

6.12- pretty chill day just hanging out at home, World Cup!- USA tied England, little bit of nice outside time, nice chat with Patty, family movie night- Alice & Wonderland and popcorn and chocolate

6.11- oh sweet prayer!, good morning delight, hubby's so sweet and loving, morning family prayer and scriptures- love the story of the Anti-Nephi-Lehis, pretty productive start to the day, peace while reading Pres. Uchtdorf's YW General Conference Talk "Your Own 'Happily Ever After'", A/C on a hot muggy day, movie night with me and the kiddos- Shrek, popcorn, soda & cheese & crackers, watching part of the World Cup (woot for World Cup starting!) kickoff with my kiddos and dancing our booties off for about 10 minutes, home-made pizza for dinner, quick walk (hot as Haities!) with my babes, laundry done and looking forward to my hot hubby being home all weekend

6.10- made it through a Thursday without breakdown!, bike ride with the kiddos, tickles with my buddy, loved the Glee finale online, enjoyed starting a new book "The Holy Road," nice outside play time while I got to read a little bit, bath time with no drama, Joaquin's sweet family prayer and how it calmed him down to go to sleep, sweet kisses from my hubby, carrot cake!, texting with all my fam- I'm so grateful to have so much loving family, watched part of Dances With Wolves with hubby

6.9- morning started off rough but after prayer got much better, time with just me and my girl as we ran errands- enjoyed singing Glee songs and chit-chatting... she really is my best friend!, got new checks and stocked up on the essentials, house picked up and made a yummy dinner and dessert for missionaries- red beef enchiladas with beans and rice and carrot cake with made-from-scratch cream cheese frosting (soooo good!), nice message and video from the Elders, had fun as a family at the ward clean up activity, had fun with my girls scooping ice cream- lots of laughs, new kennel for Koda- woot!, 2 ginormous Nesquicks from dear friend Macey- so grateful since I'm going through that stuff like crazy these days, first sighting of lightning bugs!, saying prayers with B

6.8- sound of rain falling and cool breeze from my bedroom window, Robert worked late today so he got to play with the kiddos this morning, morning family prayer and scriptures, lots of reading today on this rainy day (all caught up!), visit from my sweet VT, cheese quesadillas for lunch, once B's friend was gone- she and J were very well behaved and chillaxed for the day, camp meeting at the church- kids were happy to be out of the house and running and playing and I feel great about the progress we made and so much more ready for Girl's Camp!!, nice chat with Sis. R on the way home, kids went to bed without any fuss

6.7- very productive day, good start today with scripture study, floors nice and clean, smell of pinesol, laundry all done & put away- so grateful for running & hot water & modern day appliances, perfect weather- beautiful day, Baily had fun at Amber's house most of the day, J wasn't too rotten today, loved reading the June New Era today, yummy dinner made special for my hubby- his mom's meat and potatoes, awesome FHE about service (Pres. Monson's GC talk)- kids were pretty reverent and Baily was really involved and answered the questions so wonderfully, chocolate cream pie!, nice hot shower after long busy day, kept my goal not to waste time on computer, hubby gave me Priesthood blessing for aching teeth and horrible headache- so grateful to have a worthy Priesthood holder in my home

Friday, June 11, 2010

Friday June 11, 2010

Yesterday was a pretty ok day.  I don't know why but Thursdays are usually my nemesis so on Wednesday night I prayed to have a good Thursday and not be depressed and out of control emotionally.  So thanks to that prayer, it was a much better Thursday for me.  It was pretty boring but I'm just glad I didn't lose it and become majorly depressed.  Today was a pretty good day today too.  Robert had to work late again today so he was home to hang out with us this morning which was nice.  We had a good time together;) which was some much needed time together.  I was dreading today a little bit because it's pay day and my dad was expecting us to pay all the rent which we just did not have.  So I called him and told him what we could pay and when we could pay the rest.  I told him how sorry we were and once again told him we just can't afford to live here- that I don't feel right about paying late all the time.  And once again my dad told me that we would find a way and it wouldn't be smart to move.  I just don't know what to do.  I'm grateful for his and Patty's patience but I still hate this financial hardship were struggling with.  After crying and feeling worried and hopeless I said a nice long prayer and waited for some inspiration.  I didn't really receive any except to be patient and have faith.  And I'm determined to not lose faith or hope in this trial like most other times in my life when I've had trials.  So a little while after the prayer I felt much better.  My hubby was really sweet to me this morning and I needed that and was grateful for that.  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.  I watched my friend from the ward, Brittney Johnson's little girls for a couple of hours.  I was probably a little too grumpy but I'm glad I didn't yell or get impatient.  After they left I just was kinda lazy.  It was so hot and sticky outside that my kids or I didn't want to be outside.  I'm sad to admit that I broke my streak and spent more time on the computer that my goal was.  But I'm not going to let that deter me from my progress and just keep to my limited time on the computer as I've done good with all the rest of this week.  Later on my kids and I had a movie date- we watched Shrek, ate some goodies and I let the kids have soda since it is Friday after all.  Then we watched part of the World Cup kickoff and had a fun little dance party.  It felt good to just be silly and have fun with my babes.  After that we ate some yummy home-made pizza that I made for dinner and then took a short walk around the block- it was hot and sticky but I wanted to get out at least once today.  When we got home I got the kids ready for bed and now they are each watching their movie choice since it's Friday- their one night to stay up late for the week.  It's been a pretty good day.  I'm so looking forward to having my hot hubby home for the weekend.  I'm thinking we might go to the beach tomorrow as long as it's not storming.  It's hot enough, it's free and it will be a good time.  I love family time- as long as I can control my crazy emotions... which I'm praying for strongly!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Wednesday June 9, 2010

Today started off a little rough because I lost my temper and got mad at myself for losing it.  I had a nice long prayer pleading for help with controlling my emotions and reactions and for help to make the most out of the rest of the day with my family.  I'm so grateful for prayer!!  Baily went with me to the WIC office to get our new checks for the next few months and we had a fun time with just us two.  She really is one of my best friends.  We jammed to Glee with the windows down and chatted and it was great.  After that we went to the store to stock up on some essentials and it was just nice.  Love that girl!  When we got home I was busy cleaning up and preparing a yummy dinner and dessert for us and the missionaries.  I made red beef enchiladas with rice and beans and a home-made carrot cake complete with home-made cream cheese frosting.  It was seriously sooo good.  I love my good mom/housewife successes.  It really does make me feel so good inside.  After they left we went as a family to the combined ward cleanup activity at the church.  We helped clean up the landscape.  There were a lot of people there so there wasn't much to do but it felt good helping what little we did and just being with our ward.  They really are like a family and are such great friends.  I love our Elkhorn Ward!  Then we were blessed by the generosity of those ward members when one gave us a dog kennel (this will give me much needed sanity with our crazy dog!) and 2 huge cans of Nesquick (her husband works for Nestle and she got them for us because I mentioned how I was going through that stuff like crazy these days).  So generous and so sweet and I was so touched.  When we got home the kids sacked out pretty fast- they were pooped.  I got up the energy to clean my kitchen and am glad I am doing my journal because I really was considering skipping out.  But alas... here I am:)  And here I go... good night!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tuesday June 8, 2010

It has been a very rainy and overcast day today.  I love that kind of weather.  However it doesn't bring out the most productive side of me.  I stayed strong though and stayed off the computer.  I spent most of the day reading scriptures and magazines.  My kids watched way too much tv and I yelled at them which I wasn't happy about but it was a pretty good day nonetheless.  The kids seemed to be pretty chilled today and ok with a lazy, tv sort of day.  It's supposed to start getting hotter and humid tomorrow which I'm not excited about at all but that's ok.  It's much better than it could be- like the summers in Mesa!  My hot man had to work late tonight which I am not a big fan of but that's ok.  I ended up going to a YW camp meeting at the church.  It was nice to get out of the house and I feel much more prepared and ready for Girl's Camp.  I'm so excited!  The kids had fun running around and playing with the other kids.  Sis. Rebarchik gave us a ride.  I must say she is one of the sweetest most compassionat, Christ-like people I know.  She is such an example to me and I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to serve from her, observe and learn from her.  She's just awesome.  After we got home it was pretty much time for bed and bedtime went very smoothly.  My tooth has been feeling much better and I'm so grateful for the Priesthood blessing Robert gave me last night.  Robert's off tomorrow and my goal is to enjoy the day- to not nag him or resent him or be annoyed with him- but to love and appreciate and serve him.  He deserves it.  He really is quite awesome.  I love that man so much.  And now I'm going to go maybe read a little bit more, pray and get some shut-eye.  Good night:)

Monday, June 7, 2010

Monday June 7, 2010

I remember last time I updated I was thinking "wow- I'm doing well.  I should plan on writing every day this month."  Well... that didn't go so great as you can see.  Thursday was not a good day for me at all.  It was a very rough day emotionally.  I can't think of a specific reason but I know I was not happy and grumpy all day.  I was so close to giving up, giving in to temptation and going back to my addiction.  But I didn't and I'm so grateful I didn't.  The rest of the weekend went pretty well from what I can remember.  Today was a pretty swell day.  I was very productive and had a heart to heart with Heavenly Father this morning asking him to help me be more wise and productive with my time and help me with my goal not only to not spend time playing games on the computer (I failed at that goal last week:/ ), but also to only get on the computer twice a day to check my email, blog or facebook.  I can say that that has resulted in a very productive day today.  My house is very clean, my laundry is all done, my family's been fed well today, I've been spiritually nourished through scripture study and reading the June New Era and I've prayed for forgiveness since I yelled and lost my temper.  I'm still pleading for help in being able to control my emotions and reactions and to "school my feelings."  It's such a hard weakness to deal with because I hate it about myself and it comes with a lot of guilt.  But I honestly believe that Heavenly Father will help me overcome this weakness.  I will have faith.  I'm dealing with some major tooth pain again but I'm not going to get mad or ask "why me?" this time.  I'm praying for help to endure and if it is His will, to take away the pain.  I'm going to have Robert give me a blessing and go to sleep and hopefully I'll feel better.  I'm so grateful I have him and that I have a worthy Priesthood holder as my husband and in my home.  We had a great FHE tonight about service.  We watched Pres. Monson's talk about service from last General Conference in October.  Baily was so reverent and watched the whole thing.  She was so involved during the lesson.  We made some goals to do certain acts of service for a family member, friend, acquaintance and stranger.  We also decided to start a family service journal where we will talk about what we did for someone that day during dinner and write it in our journal.  I'm so grateful for FHE and for our Prophet and this council to serve others.  I'm so grateful to see progress and feel good about my job as a parent as I see Baily learning and understanding gospel principles.  She's learning and growing so much right now.  I just love her so much.  I'm sure there's more I want to right about but I'm hurting and I'm exhausted.  I will do better this week about my journal:)

Blessings 5/31-6/6

6.6- felt the Spirit so strongly during Sacrament and Sacrament/Testimony meeting- lots of testimony about prayer and Christ, made it through the rest of church with a very grumpy boy who refused to go to Nursery without breaking down, good Sunday dinner with dad & fam at home- broccoli & cheese soup with chicken sandwiches, nice rainy weather, family walk & bike ride, early to bed

6.5- another rainy day- love it!, working on my PP and learning more about my Savior and The Atonement, Elder Bednar's talk in this month's Ensign "Things As They Really Are," sweet loves from my best girl, lots of fun and good times at cousin Nate's graduation party- good to see so much family, B got a mattress for the top of her bunk bed (given to us by same people who gave us the bed!) and she is so excited about it, chocolate milk and Crispix for dinner for me, starting family fast, kids had fun in bath and smell so good afterword!, nice hot relaxing shower

6.4- hubby's day off!, home-made crepes with strawberries & whipped cream and hubby's perfect bacon for breakfast, playing Dr. with kids again, me and B made home-made chocolate chip cookies- so fun and so good!, coloring time with just me and the B and she kept complimenting me and telling me how much she loves me, perfect weather- rainy, cool breeze and overcast!, Sis. Dibb's General YW Conference talk "Be of a Good Courage," kids outside for a couple hours with Robert while I cleaned uninterrupted with good music, smell of pine-sol, nice drive with the windows down, a/c!, family movie night at home

6.3- submitted Baily's awesome caterpillar drawing to Friend magazine- she's turning out to be such a great artist and I'm so proud of her!, nice cooler weather:), chips & salsa, finally got all laundry done & put away, Patty came over to chat and it lifted my spirits- I was so grumpy, playing Dr. with kids, Joaquin's sweet family prayer, bedtime reading with my best girl, watched "Last of the Dogmen" with my hubby and we both made it through the whole movie!

6.2- awesome thunder & rain storm last night, soul prayer, grocery shoppin, Sis. Crager, stocked kitchen & pantry, deep freezer, a/c, good start on laundry, stormy weather and it's finally cooler!, beautiful clouds and nice peaceful drive with great music on the drive to Mutual, fun Mutual night- 2 hours to forget my worries was so nice, quiet trip to Walmart all by myself

6.1- cold creamy chocolate milk- can't get enough!, sausage for breakfast, kids were well-behaved today, enjoyed a nice spiritual feast with my scripture study today- loved Elder Cristofferson's talk "Moral Discipline," house all picked up, Glee :) , Baily's sweet bedtime prayer, Rice Chex cereal

5.31- had a blast at the ward Memorial day pancake breakfast- Robert barely lost the pancake eating contest (he ate 20 and the Elder who beat him ate 21!), got some bills paid, fun hot dog bbq and fun times at Genoa City park with Dad & fam, nice phone conversation with Beau, blocks & Beauty & The Beast with my Baily Bug, went to Roath Grandparents graveside & talked about death & eternal families for FHE (was touched by how Patty was touched) and then Dog & Suds for yummy food & ice cream, family all showered & clean & smelling great, reading time with Baily

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wednesday June 2, 2010

It's been a pretty good day I suppose.  I got a good start on the laundry and was able to go get groceries with Sis. Crager.  I'm so grateful for the help from the Church but at the same time I hate that we need the help.  I feel like such a burden and it's a horrible feeling to have.  My mind has been weighed down all day about what we are going to do to survive and what we should do.  The only possible option I see is to move to a cheap apartment closer to Robert's work.  The thought of doing that makes my stomach churn.  I do not want to move.  I don't want to live back in the city, I don't want to lose our home with the perfect neighborhood, yard, location (as in right next to my dad), ward.  It kills me.  But I see no other way.  I had a very sincere heart to heart with my Heavenly Father today and just plead with Him to give me some inspiration as to what to do.  I told Him I didn't expect Him to just fix everything without us having to learn any lessons or do the work ourselves.  I just explained that I was completely clueless as to what to do or any possible solutions- nothing feels right.  It could just be denial about moving but I really don't know.  I have faith that if I'm faithful and do all I can He will help us.  I almost lost hope and dealt with some very strong temptation today but I'm so glad that I recognized the temptation and prayed right away and read my scriptures.  That's a lot of progress for me- especially under this kind of stress.  In the past, I've realized, these worriesome times are the times when I crack and return to my destructive addiction.  As I was thinking about that on my beautiful drive to Mutual (it was so cool and stormy- my fave kind of weather!) I felt good thinking that I passed that test faithfully.  I don't expect blessings from passing- it just felt good to have that peace of conscience.  I had a lot of fun with the girls at Mutual tonight.  We ate some good treats, played a few games and just chatted.  It was a low key night to just have fun at a stressful time of year for the girls- the end of the school year.  As I left I realized how much fun I had, how much I love my calling and our YW and how I had completely forgotten about all my worries and stress.  I'm so grateful for those few hours of peace.  Also on my drive home I realized that I need to spend more time with my babies- more quality time.  I've done well at not wasting time playing games or watching tv (I watched a little today but felt so unproductive and realized that just the ads were the reason for a lot of my temptation so I shut it off- I was thinking about how I should just give up tv altogether and how beneficial that would be to me) but I need to do better at playing with them and teaching them and just spending more quality time with and giving attention to them.  They are growing up way too fast.  Especially my sweet girl- I can't believe how much she's matured just in the last month or so.  I'm so proud of how wonderful she's turning out to be and I don't want to miss any precious moments I can have with her.  Oh how I love her!  As I thought about her request for me to have a tea party with her today and my turning her down I felt a strong pang of guilt.  I really, truly don't want to have those regrets.  So I will do better about spending those precious moments with my kids.  They are my life- my everything.  Oh how I love them!!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Tuesday June 1, 2010

I'm bummed I missed writing the past couple of days.  Especially since it makes it so hard to write again when you feel so behind.  Let's see.  Friday was a great day.  It was productive and we had a blast as a family at the YW bbq at the Rebarchik home.  I love my ward friends!  After we feasted on yummy summer bbq food, we all went and watched the fireworks there in Burlington (they were to celebrate Chocolatefest and Memorial Day).  It was awesome.  My favorite part was watching the joy on my kids' faces and the reflection of the fireworks in their lit up eyes.  Being a mom is the best!  I have no idea what happened to me on Saturday.  It was very hot and I was very bored and grumpy.  Robert was busy being a wonderful husband and working on our yard, taking the Christmas lights down, working on my dad's yard and fixing our toilet.  And I was a butt and resented him for it.  The whole time I was mad at myself for my crappy attitude but I just couldn't break it.  Ughhh...  Sunday was a little better.  I enjoyed church but Robert and I had gotten in a petty dumb argument the night before and we were so distant with each other.  There was tension between us and I hated it.  But apparently I couldn't let go of my pride and apologize and forgive.  What a waste of time.  After church we had to wait an hour and a half to talk to the Bishop.  It was hot, the kids were super restless and I was just irritated.  I was trying not to be but I just couldn't seem to help it.  I left the Bishop's office feeling very down and depressed.  We were talking with him about our financial situation again and I hate it.  I hate that we need help.  I hate even admitting it because I know the Bishop doesn't intend for me to feel this way, but I feel like such a burden to him and I feel like he really looks down on us.  I prayed all day to get rid of these feelings and thought a lot about one of Elder Bednar's GC talks about not taking offense.  So that's what I prayed for- help at not taking offense.  Bishop is awesome and it must just be the adversary trying to get in my head about him- but I won't let him.  After coming home and resting and reading scriptures I felt better.  I made dinner and after dinner we took a nice little family Sunday walk which helped my downcast mood.  Yesterday was a much better day.  We had a lot of fun as a family at our ward Memorial Day pancake breakfast.  Robert decided to enter the pancake eating contest and despite my urging him to stop and that he was gonna feel sick and be complaining all day, he ended up eating 20 pancakes only to be defeated by an Elder who ate 21.  It was a harsh blow.  I was proud of my man for his efforts but knew he was gonna be complainin' later.  And I was right.  After we made a stop at the store and went home and packed up a bbq pic-nic, we and my dad & fam headed over to Genoa City park for some Memorial Day fun.  My dad's back was hurting so I felt bad for him about that but it ended up being real nice.  We had the whole park to ourselves, it was overcast and not too hot and the kids had a blast playing on the playground and in the sand.  We enjoyed some hot dogs from the grill (Robert, however wanted nothing to do with food and was complaining about feeling sick the whole time) and other munchies.  We had nice conversation, played a lil' badmitton and just had a nice, relaxing time.  After that we came home and rested a bit.  Then later, for FHE, we met up with my dad & fam at my Roath Grandparent's graveside.  Before they got there we talked with Baily about what happens when people die and about how our family can be together forever because we were sealed in the temple.  It was sweet.  When my Dad & Patty got their, there was a very tender feeling present as we remembered my sweet Grandparents.  They left and my little fam and I went and ate at Dog & Suds.  It was pretty good but not great and too expensive.  We had a nice time together as a family though.  Today was a pretty good day.  Robert was back to work and I got to work on picking up my house.  I also spent a good time with my scripture study and that felt wonderful.  I started to work on our budget and that was very stressful.  We need a miracle.  I have no idea how we're going to make it on what we're making right now.  It's not possible.  However, I don't feel hopeless.  I will trust in the Lord and His promises and I know we will find a way to get out of this.  I don't know how, but I know we will.  I have faith in my Savior and that gives me hope.  My poor hubby is not feeling well at all so he came home, was so sweet but I could tell he was not feeling well so he went to bed pretty early.  I hope he feels better soon!  Tomorrow's more of the deep cleaning and laundry.  And for now- I shall go to bed before I give into the temptation to play Solitaire or Crossword puzzles.  My goals for this week are to not play games on the computer and not to yell or cuss.  So far I haven't played any games and I'm working on the other 2.  Good night!


6.1- cold creamy chocolate milk- can't get enough!, sausage for breakfast, kids were well-behaved today, enjoyed a nice spiritual feast with my scripture study today- loved Elder Cristofferson's talk "Moral Discipline," house all picked up, Glee <3, Baily's sweet bedtime prayer, Rice Chex cereal

Blessings 5/24-30

5.30- made it on time to church- just barely- but made it, kids were so reverent (all the kids in the ward) during Sacrament and it was so nice, awesome 5th Sunday combined RS/Priesthood lesson by Bishop about finding our hidden wedges and forgiving, Sunday nap and scriptures, prayer got me through some tough emotions, able to keep the Sabbath day holy- 1 Ne. 3:7, enjoyed reading about Alma & Amulek for family scripture study, nice family Sunday walk & visit at Dad & Patty's

5.29- rough day but made it through- hubby was busy with yard work, fixing the john and taking down the Christmas lights, pizza for dinner

5.28- when Baily came into the living room this morning Joaquin said so cutely "Guh mooning B!"- so sweet!, then they snuggled on the couch and watched Buzz and Woody, B took a donut to her Grandpa at the bus-stop, B colored some beautiful pictures for my mom and mailed them out- my mom's gonna love them, trip to Target- cute shoes for the fam and nachos & DP for lunch- yum!, had a blast at the YW bbq w/my fam at the Rebarchiks (delicious 7 layer dip & chips & watermelon-yum!), so much fun at the fireworks- loved watching Baily & Joaquin's excitement and the reflection of the fireworks in their sweet eyes!

5.27- donuts for breakfast- love raspberry bismarks, finally finished my mom's letter and got it in the mail, caught up on Glee- I {heart} that show!, Baily had fun playing with Amber today- she looked so cute playing pretty princesses, leftover roast beef for lunch, finally able to play outside without melting- no humidity- yay!, irises are blooming and so pretty, my sweet baby boy all clean after a shower and smelling delicious, baby boy #2 is a movin' like crazy

5.26- hubby's day off- yay!, bacon and pancakes for breakfast, dinner prep in the morning makes for an easy evening, trip to Wal-Mart with just me and my girl- I love my Baily Bug so very much!!, thunder & lightning, 20 week ultrasound- a healthy & bouncing baby... BOY!!- surprised but excited, Baily took the news that she's not getting a sister very well, B held my hand and was so sweet and cute during the ultrasound- she's an amazing big sister and I just love her so much!, yummy roast dinner with the missionaries and they joined us for family scriptures and prayers, beautiful drive to pick up my girl April and listening to my fave song- EFY's "I Know that My Redeemer Lives" and being overwhelmed with the Spirit and gratitude and feeling my testimony grow of my Savior, giving April a ride to Mutual, Mutual- I love my YW!

5.25- gas is back on- grateful to have hot water back, prayer, repentance, love the New Era, lots of scripture study today- love the OT, dancing and singing to Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" with Joaquin, listening to music and playing store with Baily, windows open for a little bit while listening to thunder and telling B how my Grandpa H used to tell me that thunder was when Heavenly Father and Jesus are bowling, popcorn and Mr. Goodbar, sweet phone call from my bro Beau, my forgiving & sweet little girl- oh how I love her!, Baily asking me if Jesus was done bowling since the thunder was gone

5.24- Joaquin's sweet giggles and contagious smile, Baily's good mood, Baily had a blast playing with water slide at Amber's all day, Joaquin took a much-needed long nap, prayer in rough times, not giving up and losing hope- trying to stay strong and have faith in my Savior, not fighting with hubby during hard times, studied awesome GC talk "Preserving the Heart's Mighty Change," feeling great comfort & peace while reading scriptures, finding a solution and even though things can be hard to let go it felt good to let go & release that burden, hubby brought home BK for dinner- no cooking and no hot oven, A/C on a hot day, great FHE on family prayer and faith- and it counted as a PP goal, love my family so much!, stress free trip to the store without kids, internet's back on!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mom's Letter May 27, 2010

Thursday May 27, 2010
Dearest Mother Whom I love so much!,
I suck. I'm sorry. I know it sounds so lame but I haven't had any money to get the pictures printed so I've been putting off writing to you because I feel guilty. Sorry momma. I'm hoping I will have a few extra bucks tomorrow, pay day, to get some pics printed for you and pick you up some cards but no promises. But at least I can write you a letter right?! I love you!
So since we got back from AZ things have been a little bit crazy. I got super sick again, started bleeding, was put on bed rest, got really depressed, Robert flew out to VA (it was for a security company in Arlington- basically in Washington DC) for a final interview, we thought for sure he had the job, found out he didn't get it, our van got repossessed after being one month late (what a jerk the car guy is!), Joaquin suffered through some really bad diaper/yeast infections. I know how depressing that must sound but really mom, we are doing so good right now. I'm doing much better- I had forgotten what it felt like to not be sick, and off of bed rest. My energy is back and I feel human again. We found out yesterday that we are have a.... drumroll please.... BOY! We are excited. It seems as though my posterity is following in the steps of my life. And that's awesome. After struggling so much I finally kicked my rear in gear and got diligent about my prayers and scriptures and, no suprise, my life got much better. I haven't been able to take my meds because they make me so sick so my depression is just being dealt with strictly by prayer and it's a miracle because I'm surviving and thriving. We have been very diligent about having family prayer and scripture study and Family Home Evening and haven't missed a day in over a week. We've also made a family goal to each personally read from the Book Of Mormon every day. I read Joaquin one verse, Baily one page and Robert and I have committed to at least 5 minutes or a chapter a day (that was the Bishop's challenge to the ward). Before we had that FHE where we made that goal and talked about the BOM (we read Elder Holland's amazing talk Safety for the Soul in the Nov. '09 Ensign- if you haven't read it yet... DO IT!!!), Satan attacked us. I didn't understand why we were all in such a foul mood that day and I was so grumpy and irritated. I almost just said to heck with FHE but after praying to calm down we still had our FHE. I can see now why Satan was attacking us that day- he does not want us to have the amazing blessing of the BOM in our life. We are doing a sticker chart to chart our progress and we've not missed a day in almost 2 weeks since we started our goal. I can't tell you the difference it makes in our family. While we've been going through these tough financial times and times of uncertainty Robert and I have not even argued once and have actually gotten closer. My kids are more behaved and there just seems to be so much love in our home. The Spirit is so strong. I really feel like my home is now a safe haven from the rest of the world and I can't tell you how much that means to me. We still have our rough times- I still yell and get mad at myself when I do, but we are all so much more quick to apologize and forgive. Our house has stayed clean and orderly, I've been doing great and making great home-made dinners every night and we are just closer. Baily's finally sleeping in her own bed all night, we stick to our daily and bed time routines. Things are amazing. On the surface you might see the hardships like losing our van and being so broke, but when you look deep down, our family has never been better. As much as we hated to lose our van, that means that now we don't have to be burdened with that $320 payment every month along with gas and maintenance. We still have our Camry which is fully paid for and gets amazing gas mileage (in fact, we noticed a tender mercy that lately it's getting more and more miles to the gallon... coincidence? I think not!). And since my dad is recovering from his major back surgery (he's doing well by the way), whenever I do need a car Dad and Patty let me use theirs whenever I need it. For the first time in our life, we've been faithful enough to pay our tithing even when we didn't know how we were going to survive without it. That peace of conscience that comes from being obedient is priceless. We thought for sure we were going to have to move to a small apartment closer to Robert's work in the city an hour away, but now without the van payment we will be able to stay here in our home that we love in the area we love- out of the city. It will still be tight but we can do it. I was planning on trying to find 1 or 2 kids to watch but now without my van I don't know if I'll still be able to. So while we're still trying to figure out a better way to survive financially we are surviving. Barely... but we are surviving. The Lord is with us and we feel Him and are therefore in a state of hope and not fear.
So that's where we're at. I'm sorry to say mom that we just can't afford to go see you. It kills me but there's just no way for us right now. I don't see how I'm going to make it to Alex's wedding and I just know he's going to be so upset. I hate it but it is what it is. I'm sorry mom. I really, really miss you. Baily always talks about going to Utah to see Grandma Kaybee. I hope we can sooner than later!!
Robert's doing well. He's busy working and on Thursdays he gets to play softball with a team from his work. They are horrible- they haven't won one game, but he has fun and he deserves it. He's a Ward Missionary so he gets to go on visits with the missionaries and he loves it. Our missionaries don't speak Spanish so Robert's been a real help with translating to the Hispanic investigators and non-actives they visit. He works so hard to support us and when he's home he's an amazing dad and husband. Oh how I love him!

My Baily Bug- I can't even talk about her without tearing up because she's growing up so fast. And not just growing up, but growing up beautifully. She's such a good girl mom. I don't know how I got so lucky. She has a few bratty moments here and there but she's grown out of her tantrum phase and she's just awesome. She's such a good big sister to her brother. She's always trying to take care of him and me. She really, really wanted a sister and she was so excited to go with us to the ultrasound to find out what the baby is. She held my hand through the whole thing and kept asking me if I was ok and telling me “It's ok mom. I love you so much mom. You're such a good mom mom.” She was worried that the ultrasound was hurting me even though I kept telling her it didn't hurt. She was trying to comfort me. She's been like that this whole pregnancy that I've been sick. So when we found out it was a boy she sighed and then said “It's ok mom. I'll still love my brother.” She's seriously the sweetest little girl. I was talking to Patty the other day and she was mentioning and she noticed how much Baily's grown up and how Baily reminds her of me and how I was always trying to take care of everyone. She said the only difference is, is that Baily doesn't pick on her brother like I used to and is not as bossy. Hee, hee. It's so true. She's so excited to start school in the Fall. We told her that they might not let her in if she was still sleeping with mommy and daddy so we made some goals and got our routine down, a family in our ward gave us a bunk bed so she wasn't swallowed up in that huge Queen bed and she's been sleeping in her bed for over 2 weeks now. She's all excited that now they'll let her into school. LOL. She loves to color and play with her blocks. She's so good. She's very artistic. She's not really into sports and has informed me to my great dismay that she doesn't want to play soccer. She wants to be in ballet and dance so bad so we're working on finding a way to get her into a program. She builds these amazing buildings and creations with her blocks and legos. She colors amazingly and draws pretty well too. I'll send you some of her art this weekend. She loves to play outside and find frogs and caterpillars to play with. She's starting to get into Barbie's and dolls and playing pretend everything. Her imagination is going a mile a minute all the time and I often hear her having conversations with herself and her imaginary friends. She's finally back to being a great eater and not so picky. She's always so grateful for every meal. She loves to help me in the kitchen- I need to work on being more patient with her and letting her help more. She loves to listen to her playlist on my ipod (it includes Lady Gaga, Taylor “Smith,” Hannah “Tana,” all High School Musical Songs, her Primary cd and the Newsies soundtrack). She'll put her headphones on and go into her room and sing and dance on her bed for a long time. It's so cute. But if she catches anyone watching her she gets so embarrassed. She hates when she has to much attention on her. She refuses to talk in Primary. She's still very sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily. Wonder where she gets that from?! She loves church and family home evening and family prayer and scripture study. She says the sweetest prayers whether it be at meal times or family prayer or her personal prayers. We've had some pretty funny ones but it just shows us how personal her relationship with Heavenly Father is and I love it. She's got a very strong testimony of Jesus and is always talking about Him- how Jesus helps her to not be scared or have bad dreams. Whenever she feels sick or gets hurt she says “let's say a prayer mom and Jesus will help me.” She's always asking questions about Him and heaven and I just love it. When she's around her family or people she knows well she's always talking. She still loves aliens and wants to have an alien birthday party. She's just awesome mom. I just love her so much and am so, so very grateful to get to be her mom.
Joaquin- my little buddy. He melts my heart. He's getting into that terrible phase of tantrums and hitting when he doesn't get what he wants. Not cool. He's always beating up no his sister but no one else better touch her or he'll pound 'em. He picks on her but he loves her and looks up to her so much. He only likes to eat eggs, oatmeal, fruit, celery and meat. Sometimes I can get him to eat a little pasta. But he won't eat potatoes or anything that has some sort of sauce- like mayo, cream of anything, sour cream, ketchup, bbq sauce. He's weird like that. He LOVES Buzz and Woody and watches the 2 Toy Story movies a couple times a day. He carries his little Buzz and Woody toys around with him everywhere. He really likes his Spiderman underwears too. He won't wear them without a diaper but he won't get dressed without them on. LOL. He wants nothing to do with potty training and I'm fine with that. I'm not ready for that anyway. Boys really are slower than girls in that department. His smile and his laugh are so contagious. Patty's always saying how much he reminds her of Beau and after looking at a bunch of Beau's pictures, she's right. He has that same sweet smile. He's a happy kid and very tough. He never cries when he gets hurt. He got stung by a bee and instead of crying he just got mad and started trying to punch the bee. It was the funniest thing ever. He loves rough-housing with his dad. But he won't let his dad change his diaper or dress or anything. He's a total momma's boy- and secretly I love it. I think this new baby's going to be a tough adjustment for him. I don't think he'll take it out on the baby- just me. I'm excited he'll have a little brother to play with though. He also loves to be outside but he screams so loud (think Zach when we were watching Signs) if a bug or spider touches him. It's so funny. He's completely fearless and I'm convinced he'll be the first one in our family to have a broken bone. He's so short and stalky and it's so cute. We have to buy shoes like 2 sizes too big because they are so fat. They are little Fred Flinstone feet and oh they're just so delicious. He has a terrible habit of biting his nails so low. I can't get him to stop. He's talking like crazy and it's so dang cute. He talks better than most kids his age. He's really smart and catches on to things very quickly. Mostly though- he's so freakin' adorable you just wanna squeeze him- and I do a lot. He still has those soft, chubby delicious cheeks that I kiss every chance I get. Oh how I love that boy!!
And like I said earlier, I'm doing pretty great. It feels so nice to have energy and to enjoy eating again. My belly's huge but I'm not swelling up as much as I did with the other two. I'm still under my pre-pregnancy weight. I love my calling- I love my YW. I'm excited to go to girl's camp in July. I'm so excited Lee won even though I rarely got to see much of the show this year. I LOVE Glee even though I'm a couple episodes behind. It's my all time fave show. Life is good- not easy by any means, but good. I miss you momma. You're in our prayers all the time and please know we're thinking about you and talking about you and remembering you always. We are always so excited when we get your letters. Be strong! I love you for always!!!
Love For Ever,Sar Bear

Thursday May 27, 2010

Man I'm tired.  It's either that this boy is growing and taking up all my energy (which I can tell he's growing because I'm huge) or I'm just being too lazy and it's causing a lack of energy.  I think it's a combination of both.  I was pretty productive yesterday and had a good day with Robert being home for his day off.  We enjoyed our ultrasound appointment- well Baily and I did (Robert was dealing with a very cranky Joaquin who did not want to hold still).  We found out we are having a boy!  I was very surprised because I was sure it was a girl but I'm still excited and grateful that he seems to be healthy.  He was very active and the tech had a hard time getting his heart measurements because he wouldn't hold still.  Looks like another crazy boy!  Baily was a little bummed at first but then she just said "Mom, it's ok.  I will still love him."  It was so sweet.  She was being so sweet throughout the appointment holding my hand and asking questions and checking to make sure I was alright.  Even though I kept telling her it didn't hurt I think she was still worried about me because she kept doing all she could to comfort me like rubbing my hand and saying "It's ok mom.  I love you mom.  Your my best mom ever mom."  She's so sweet.  I just love that girl so much.  After our appointment we rushed home and I finished prepping dinner and then the missionaries came to eat dinner with us.  They seem like sweet guys.  After we ate we had to do family prayer and scriptures since I had to go to Mutual and wouldn't be home before the kids went to bed.  It felt good having them Elders join us and knowing we weren't doing it just to put on a show for them.  I was late to Mutual because I got a call from one of our YW- April, asking me if I would give her a ride.  I was thrilled to since I feel close to her and know that she needs all the support she can get.  On the way to pick her up the drive was so beautiful.  I had the windows open and since it had just rained everything was so green and beautiful.  Then one of my most favorite songs came on the radio from my ipod- EFY's "I Know That My Redeemer Lives."  I felt the Spirit so strongly and felt so grateful for this beautiful earth we live in, for my Savior and my testimony of Him and just for my life.  Mutual was great.  It was great to be back after not having gone for such a long time.  I so love my calling and I love my girls.  We made cute little flag pins for our Veterans for our Ward Memorial Day breakfast.  It was simple but fun.  After that I gave April a ride home and came home.  I was exhausted after that but I remember after saying my prayers and hopping into bed I just felt a great warmth inside and having the impression that Heavenly Father was telling me how much He loves me, how proud He is of me in my progress these past few weeks and that He has forgiven me of my sins I've been working so hard to repent of.  It was amazing and a feeling I won't ever forget.  How grateful I am for the Atonement and for repentance and to know that my Heavenly Father loves me.  How grateful I am for Divine communication.  So yesterday was a really great day.  Today there was not a lot going on.  Baily had Amber over to play and they had fun.  They had a few little spats here and there and I was a grump which I was not happy about and not sure why- must because I was being so lazy and unproductive with playing Solitaire too much.  I seriously need to work on that.  I did finally get a letter out to my mom which is a big burden of guilt lifted off my shoulders.  I love my mom so much and feel so bad that I'm not very diligent about writing her.  So it felt good to get a letter out to her.  When it came time to take Amber home, we stopped by my dad's to say hi but he was kinda grumpy with my kids so we didn't stay long.  We did stay outside for a couple of hours and the kids had a good time.  I should have been a better mom and played with them more and paid more attention to them instead of reading my magazine the whole time.  It was the New Era but really, my time would have been better spent giving my kids the love and attention they deserve.  I really need to work on that too.  And I will.  Now I'm gonna go pray and go to sleep because I'm beat.  Tomorrow should be a fun day- we are going to a bbq in the evening at Sis. Rebarchik's with other YW friends and then it's fireworks (it's chocolatefest in Burlington this weekend).  Baily and I are so excited about the fireworks.  Robert's off for the whole weekend and even Monday so we are looking forward to a family, fun-filled Memorial Day weekend.  My life is so blessed:)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tuesday May 25, 2010

Today wasn't the best of days.  I enjoyed a lot of scripture study (prob a couple of hours worth) except being interrupted by my kids.  I shouldn't let that bother me since I am their mom and their caregiver.  After that I was in an ok mood until the afternoon and for some reason I was ogreized.  I turned to a major grump and was yelling before I knew it and the guilt soon followed.  I don't know why that happens but I'm determined to conquer this weakness.  Plus I need to stop being addicted to playing Solitaire and online crossword puzzles so much during the day- as well as Facebook.  I've been pretty lazy and that's no bueno.  I'm really excited about tomorrow- Robert's off and we get to have our 20 week ultrasound and see what this wee bun in my oven is.  I really feel like it's a girl but we shall see.  Here's praying to a better day tomorrow- a non-ogre, more productive, fun and cheerful me!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Monday May 24, 2010

So it has been an eventful past couple of days.  I haven't been as diligent with this journal because our internet was shut off.  Our internet and cable along with our cell phones and gas service and our car being repoed.  It's been a rough couple of days.  But how grateful and happy I am to stay that we've done our best to remain faithful and not lose hope- to not get discouraged or angry.  That shows that we've made a lot of progress and I know that this growth has come from the power of The Book of Mormon and prayer both individually and as a family.  We've been so diligent and despite the hards times, the lack of peace of mind, we've felt the Spirit and had peace and faith that Heavenly Father is watching out for us and things will be ok, peace of conscience.  On Friday as we were trying to figure out what to do about getting our van back we got a miraculous call from Robert's mom saying that she was going to take over our payments on the van for the next year- for the rest of what we owed.  This came out of nowhere and we knew it was an answer to prayer- that Heavenly Father was blessing us through Cande.  We were humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude.  When we talked to Lenny however, the man who we bought the car from, our high spirits were soon depleted.  We found out that he wasn't willing to accept anything less than the 2 months due plus an additional $350 for the repoe fee.  That came to about $1000 which we certainly don't have.  It was a low blow and I honestly don't feel it's fair or right of Lenny.  Unfortunately there was nothing we could do about it.  I talked to Bishop on Sunday with hopes of getting help to pay that money but for some reason he didn't offer to help.  I really didn't ask.  I suppose if he felt it was the right thing to do or felt inspired to help us he would have- in fact I'm sure he would have.  So I left feeling a little confused and bummed but at the same time I felt a peace.  Also yesterday we realized our internet/cable was shut off.  Today we woke up to the pleasant reality that our cell phone service was shut off and later today I got a knock on the door from the We man (our gas provider) telling me he was disconnecting our gas service.  That created some tears from me.  It was hard to take.  I wanted to get mad but I didn't.  I remained calm and instead of going back to a bad habit like I usually would have done in a stressful situation like this, I prayed.  Then I did my scripture study.  I felt such peace and calm.  Robert called and we decided to use the money Robert's mom sent us (this is when we thought we only had to pay one month's due to get our van back) to pay our other bills- our cell phone and gas and get those services turned back on.  We came to the realization that we just cannot find a way to come up with the $1000 to get our van back.  It's devastating because we do need and love our van and it's really going to hurt our credit and ruin our chances of ever getting another car on credit with a repoe on our record.  And we only had one year left to pay with the relief of knowing that we wouldn't have to pay the payments until we paid Cande back next year with our taxes.  It's really sad and disappointing.  But we had to come to the realization that we thought of everything we could and there's nothing we can do.  So we had to let it go.  And it was not easy but at the same time, I know I personally, felt a peace that everything will be ok.  And I have faith that because we are beings so diligent in trying to live righteously the best that we can, and are paying our tithing even though it's really hard to, Heavenly Father will take care of us.  I don't say that in a way to mean I think he's going to give us money and a new car- but we will be provided with opportunities to work and provide for ourselves.  As devastating as this could have been and hard for us to take, we've felt peace and hope.  Words can't express my appreciation for this peace and assurance.  It's miraculous.  I was also able to have a nice long chat with my dad about all this and it felt so good to open up with him and be honest and to feel his love and support in return.  I love him so much and am so grateful to have this chance to be so close to him right now.  It's priceless.  We had a great FHE tonight from the Nursery Manual- which I love so much, about family prayer and faith.  I really felt the Spirit and I can see the changes in my kids that having FHE, family prayer and scripture study and reading to them from the Book of Mormon daily, has had on them.  They just seem so much more content and obedient and full of joy.  Joaquin's suffering from another horrible rash/infection on his bum but I know he will be ok and I'm grateful I have more patience this time around to comfort him and help him.  We have been sticking to our bedtime routine very diligently the past couple of weeks and it's been wonderful- my kids are getting enough sleep and sleeping in their own beds and it just feels great.  I've been grumpy off and on the past couple of days which I'm not proud of but I'm doing better and prayer is helping me to overcome the grumpiness.  So that's about where we are right now.  On the surface things don't look so great for our family- but on the inside, where it really matters, things couldn't be better.  My family is my life and I'm so grateful we are healthy, happy and together forever.  Life couldn't be better!!

5.17-23

5.23- made it on time at least for Sacrament, grateful to borrow dad's car for church, sittin' by my girl April at church- love her!, Sis. Emmily Taylor's sweet talk on motherhood at church, lesson on temple marriage to my Beehives went great, sweet girls' help with my crazy kids after church, watchin' Newsies with my best girl and relaxing, smell of grilling on a hot afternoon- Sunday dinner at dad's house, kid's having a blast outside in the water, strawberry shortcake, going strong on bedtime routine with kids- felt like a good mom tonight, I LOVE The BOM!!

5.22- hearing my kids tell each other "I love you," texting with family, studying awesome story of Joshua in OT, comfort from & growing testimony of BOM- loving my strong desire to "feast in it's words,"  letter from my sweet mother, playin' outside with my kiddos, hubby going with the missionaries to do the work of the Lord

5.21- personal revelation, walk & long talk with dad & his encouragement to have faith, great YW Leadership meeting- love my fellow YW leaders, MIL is so generous and we're so grateful for her help- an answer to our prayers, Lord is bound when we do what He says- He keeps His promises, soccer game in the rain with fam & good soccer memories, family dinner out to eat, nice talk with hubby about faith & revelation, Klondike bar, goin' strong with each family member personally reading The BOM

5.20- watching Newsies in the morning before Robert went to work, kids excitement at seeing their grandpa outside at the bus stop for Eyan, twice baked potatoes for lunch, prayer got me through a rough day, my dad's big bear hug- really needed it and he didn't even know I did, tickles with Joaquin and his adorable laugh and meltable smile, my sweet girl and her sweet spirit

5.19- egg sandwich with sharp cheddar cheese for breakfast, rationalization schmationalization- great talk by Elder Cook on stewardship, Baily at friend's house and Joaquin napping= free & quiet & CLEAN (wahoo for prayer & overcoming weaknesses!) time to read the Ensign, hang out time at dad's with the fam-kids having a blast running through the sprinkler, Baily's love of nature and the little caterpillars, playing outside and daddy home early, chips and homemade guacamole- yum!, Robert's dee-licious grilled pork chops for dinner along with my yummy twice-baked potatos = food bliss for this momma!, early bedtime after a no-fuss bedtime routine with kids- I was so super tired

5.18- a beautiful wonderful Spring day- 65 degrees with a slight breeze... perfection!!, laundry done and put away, house is still clean, I was a much nicer mom today, started cleaning up the big mess that was the on the desk and made some good progress, water's not going to be shut off- what a relief!, nice chat and hang out time with Patty in the yard, yummy dinner- chicken broccoli & rice casserole, Baily's back to being a great eater, loved Lee on Idol and loved his "Hallelujah" song, love my hubby:), delicious & juicy grapefruit

5.17- kid's slept in their own beds all night!, pb oatmeal for breakfast, touched very strongly by the Spirit while reading Elder Holland's GC talk "Safety for the Soul," working on PP (Personal Progress), reading Ensign, chips & salsa, better than sex cake, good news/bad news- no new job for Robert but no moving out of state, delicious beef stew and homemade rolls for dinner, FHE about BOM and family goal to each personally read BOM for at least 5 min. a day and if we do we get a sticker- 100 stickers= 1 awesome pizza party, Baily's sweet forgiving nature after I was a beast, repentance

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Thursday May 20, 2010

It's been a rough day.  Yesterday was pretty good.  The weather was beautiful and I just had a nice day.  Today our van was repossessed.  It was humiliating and horrible.  We're hoping to get it back but I have no idea how we're going to come up with the money.  Baily was wondering why they were taking our car and she decided it was because they were taking it to get fixed.  I was feeling bad and praying for help and strength to get through this faithfully without getting angry or losing hope.  At first I felt like maybe I'm being punished right now for my recent sins that I'm trying to repent of.  Then I realized that we are suffering the consequences of our poor financial choices.  But even that doesn't seem right because we are trying to be honest and I have no doubt we would pay all our bills on time and stop avoiding debt collectors (which I know is not right) if we had money to pay.  Then as I thought about it more I realized that Satan's working real hard on us right now because we are making some big changes in our lives to be more righteous and raise our family in righteousness- like we've been really diligent about family prayer and scriptures and each individually reading The Book of Mormon.  In the past couple of weeks, as I've recommitted to reading my scriptures every day, my testimony of The BOM has grown so much and I know that Satan does not want us to have this awesome blessing in our lives.  I realize now that that's where my bad mood came from out of nowhere on Monday.  So with this enlightenment I've received I'm determined to not let the adversary get us down or deter us from living righteously.  I honestly feel like right now we are doing all we can to live righteously and do what we can to support our family.  I know we need to figure out a way to get out of this but I don't know how.  But I will have faith that Heavenly Father will help guide us and inspire us on what to do so that we can be financially independent and secure.  That doesn't mean that I believe that someone's going to knock on the door and give us a million dollars.  I know that faith without works is dead and we need to be productive and do our part to make things- blessings happen.  And I know that He will help us find the solution.  I will not give up hope.  I will not give up faith.  Right now things are tough- we are struggling and going through major financial trials.  But we must "be strong and of good courage" for the Lord will not forsake us.  I know that is true.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tuesday May 18, 2010

Today was a pretty good day.  The weather was perfection and the kids played outside a majority of the day which always makes me happy since they are getting nice fresh air and exercise.  Baily had Amber over to play and they played very nicely and made sure, at my pretty straightforward demands, to clean up after themselves so there was not the usual tornado mess left after she went home.  I was able to talk to the water company and get an extension to pay our bill until next month which is a big relief because now our water won't be turned off tomorrow.  And after some major prayer of repentance and pleading for help in overcoming my yelling and anger problems I definitely felt some Divine help today to "school my feelings" (Pres. Monson's talk in the Priesthood session of the '09 General Conference) and be more temperate.  I'm so grateful for that.  I was able to get my laundry done and have been doing so great at keeping my house clean, feeding my kids nutritious meals and following through on important daily routines.  It feels so good to have made progress and I know it's only because I have returned to diligent daily and nightly prayer and scripture study and family prayer and scripture study.  I'm so grateful for these wonderful blessings in my life and how much they improve my life and give it meaning and direction and hope.  Life is real good today- quite the contrast to how I felt about myself yesterday huh?!  Prayer is amazing folks... prayer is amazing:)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Monday May 17, 2010

Yesterday was a beautiful Sabbath day- everything I prayed for.  I woke up on time and we got ready for church and got there on time without rushing.  Sacrament meeting was wonderful and the Spirit was strong and I was so grateful to take the Sacrament since I had so much to be repentant of.  Sunday School and Relief Society were great and our talk with the Bishop went well.  He was very loving and understanding and told us to keep doing what we're doing as in trying to move forward with another job for Robert or moving into somewhere more affordable.  After church I made dinner and some people from the ward brought us a free bunkbed, crib and slide for outside.  They took our queen bed we were using for Baily's room.  It's much nicer having the bunkbeds because it makes a lot more room in Baily's room.  We just need to find a twin mattress for the top bunk.  After I finished preparing a lovely meal we took it over to my dad's for Sunday dinner and had a nice time there.  When we got home we put together Baily's new bed- and by we I mean Robert.  After that we had family scriptures and prayers and put the kids to bed.  I was sooo tired that all I could do after I put Baily to bed was to pray and go to bed myself.  Today started off pretty well.  I woke up at 6 and had trouble falling back asleep and once I finally did my kids woke up and I felt pretty tired.  But I got up and got off to a pretty good start.  I really enjoyed my scripture time- especially reading Elder Holland's General Conference talk "Safety for the Soul" from last November's Conference.  It penetrated to my soul and I was left pondering my testimony of The Book of Mormon and how grateful I am to have it in my life.  I spent the rest of the day not being very productive- reading some of the Ensign and playing around on the computer.  I did manage to make a nice, comforting dinner of beef stew and homemade rolls.  But for some reason I got really annoyed when my kids wouldn't clean up their big mess in the basement when it was time to come and eat and when I went down to hurry them up I snapped.  I even was telling myself to be calm and control myself while I was walking downstairs but once I got down there I lost it and started yelling and being really ugly to my sweet babies.  I was like a monster- a terrible horrible ogre and I hate myself when I'm like that.  I felt like I was watching myself and knew I needed to stop yelling but I couldn't.  It's a horrible feeling.  And from then on my attitude seemed to ruin what could have been a very nice evening with my family.  I was a grouch at dinner and during what should have been a very spiritual FHE.  We read the same talk by Elder Holland and talked about the importance of The BOM and Robert and I both shared our testimonies about it.  But my kids were restless, like normal 2 and 4 year olds, and I was so bothered and I let myself be so ugly to them.  Why do I do this?!  It's so frustrating to know that my bad attitude and lack of control ruins such possible wonderful moments.  I must get a handle on this by working harder to let Heavenly Father help me.  We made a family goal to each personally read The BOM for at least 5 minutes a day (I will read 1 verse a day to Joaquin and 1 page a day to Baily for their part) in the which if we do we will get a sticker.  When we get 100 stickers we will have one awesome pizza party.  Baily was pretty excited about this.  After FHE I got the kids ready for bed- Joaquin was easy with no problems.  Baily would have been fine if I wouldn't have been so harsh and short with her.  She threw a fit about the pjs I had gotten for her to wear and for some stupid reason I let this bother me and once again I was in a foul mood and so awful to her.  She even said I'm so sorry mom and that still couldn't break me.  What is wrong with me?!  It makes me so mad when I act like this.  It was no good after I read to her because she simply asked me to sing a song and I blew up at her again.  She doesn't deserve that and it breaks my heart that I could treat her in such a way.  I can't let myself be like that again.  I just can't.  I know Heavenly Father will help me with this- it is truly the sincere desire of my heart right now.  I want to be a loving and kind and gentle and Christ-like mom.  Maybe part of the reason for my bad mood, but still not a good excuse, is because I was pretty bummed when Robert told me he found out he didn't get the job in VA.  I was almost sure that that was the direction the Lord wanted us to go.  I didn't really want to move out there but I was looking forward to the pay increase and the relief from our financial struggle.  I'm happy that we won't have to move out of state but now I just don't know what we're going to do to survive financially.  I just need to have faith.  I know I can't sit around and wait for something to happen or for answers and that I need to move forward with faith in works but I honestly don't know what to do at this point.  I really, really don't want to move out of this house to a smaller apartment or townhouse in Milwaukee somewhere.  I've kind of felt like being more proactive in finding some children to care for so I'm going to work on that tomorrow and pray for more guidance so I can "do."  I have no idea how Robert is going to be able to get gas to go to work for the rest of the week because I decided to have faith and pay tithing and that was the last of our money for the week.  And we also got a notice today that our water will be shut off if we don't pay by Wednesday.  I'm going to call them tomorrow and beg them to wait until Friday.  I will have faith that somehow we will find a way out of this rut and continue to be faithful in paying tithing.  Life is just hard sometimes but that's what I'm here for- to be tested during hard times.  And I am not going to fail the test.

Blessings 5/10-16

5.16- A lovely Sabbath day, on time to church without rushing, great talks and great Spirit during Sacrament, interesting and thought-provoking Sunday School lesson, wonderful RS/YW lesson by wonderful teacher Sis. R, dinner ready faster than I thought, new beds for Baily and baby for free along with a fun new slide for kids delivered to our home by wonderful ward members, delicious Sunday dinner at dad's, Baily's excitement at her new bed that Robert put together, family prayers and scriptures, bedtime books with kids, kids went to bed with no fuss and slept in their beds all night, nice long good-night's sleep

5.15- Saturday is a special day- house is sparkly clean and smells heavenly, lawn is mowed and looks great (and my dad's as well thanks to my man;), nice chat with my Abuelita on the phone- love her so much!, lovely bike ride with the fam in beautiful weather, fun little trip to the park, garden talk with Patty and loving my yard!, home-made Navajo tacos for dinner (first time making pinto beans- success!), kids' nails trimmed and are all cleaned up and ready for church tomorrow, reading books with B before bed- she's got her bedtime routine down and is finally sleeping in her own bed- woot!, going to bed feeling productive and proud of myself for sticking to my goals

5.14- TGIF!, got the basement cleaned up FINALLY- whew that feels good!, got the pantry and laundry room cleaned out, laundry all done & folded & put away, man it was a productive day!, nice chat with Patty while kids frolicked and played, Robert's home early and off for the weekend- it's like Christmas!!, sausage and peppers for dinner and it was perfectly cooked- delicioso!!, beautiful day outside, Baily's oodles of kissed and hugs and expressions of "I love you forever mom. I'm never gonna let you go."

5.13- prayer got me through the day, grocery shopping tender mercy- pantry, freezer & fridge are fully stocked, love my dad, Robert's game cancelled so he was home earlier, hearing my kids laugh while they play with their dad, hide and go seek- Baily's secret spot, Joaquin's new way of saying "oooo-kaaay" when he has to do something he doesn't want to

5.12- hubby home this morning and kid's loved playing with him, finally had some energy and had a pretty productive day- got all the rooms cleaned up, wise & loving Bishop, stormy weather, clean sheets and comforter

5.11- husband's trip to VA was a safe one- he felt really good about his interviews, feeling a peace that if we move it will all be ok, kids had a blast playing in the basement all day with friend Amber, scripture study and prayer, Baily's sweet night-time prayer, not getting mad at Baily when she got scared and wouldn't go to sleep by herself but cuddling with her and enjoying her and loving her so much, Joaquin watching Glee with me and dancing and singing even though he was sooo tired- oh how I love that boy, hubby home after missing him so much and his sweet kisses to me

5.10- made it through a very sick day without having a melt-down, kids were very well behaved and very loving to me, husband made dinner for the kids and had them laughing and having fun, watched "Prince of Egypt"

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Saturday May 15, 2010

Today was indeed "Saturday is a special day."  My home is now sparkly clean and smells lovely.  It's taken all week to get to this point and man it feels good.  Robert worked outside all day getting the yard lovelified (yes I just made that word up) as well as my dad's yard.  (My dad's still incapacitated from his back surgery.  I love that my husband is willing to do their yard work for them.  I love that man!!)  After all our hard work we enjoyed a nice little family bike ride around the block (the weather was perfect- 60's and slighty sunny- love it!) and then a nice little jaunt at the park.  It was lovely.  Then we came home and I made some delicious home-made Navajo tacos for dinner.  It was my first time making pinto beans and I'm glad they turned out.  Then we spent the rest of the evening trimming nails and getting all cleaned up and ready for church tomorrow.  It feels so good to be so on top of the ball and prepared for church and a nice Sabbath day tomorrow.  I am nervous about talking to the Bishop tomorrow about our financial distress.  I hate when we have to do that.  I just feel like such a burden and somewhat of a loser.  But I know that he can give us the council we need and I have faith that he's who the Lord would have us go to for council and direction.  We obviously need all the help we can get.  But I don't want to fret too much about that and instead just focus on having a nice Sabbath day with my family.  Life is real great right now and I'm so grateful for that:)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Friday May 14, 2010

Today was very productive and it felt great.  I got all my laundry done- cleaned, folded & put away.  I got the basement cleaned out and the pantry organized.  I made a delicious meal for dinner.  It was a good day and I really enjoyed my work today- being a stay at home mom.  I'm going to miss living in this house if we indeed have to move but it's worth it to me if it means I get to stay at home.  There's nothing better I could be doing with my time.  I know it's hard and I complain about it way too much but I'm so grateful to be at home with my babies.  And it's even better when I'm not sick;)  It was a beautiful day out which was nice and it's supposed to be that way all weekend.  And what makes it even better is that my man is off all weekend- wahoo!!  It's like Christmas.  Me and the kids have missed him a lot since he's been working such crazy hours and was in VA on his day off.  I had a nice chat over at my dad's with Patty.  I love being so close to them.  My kids love their grandparents so much and that makes me so happy.  We have a very blessed life.  I'm gonna get some sleep now so I'll have enough energy to deep clean tomorrow and prepare for Sunday- Saturday is a special day you know! 

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Thursday May 13, 2010

I felt very tired and grumpy today and I'm not sure why.  I just had a lack of energy and was frustrated because I wanted to get so much done.  I did get to go grocery shopping and got really stocked up on food to last a couple of weeks thanks to our ward and their generous fast offerings to help the poor and needy.  I hate being in the position to have to get that help and to be one of the "poor and needy" but I am truly humbled and grateful to have that help available.  My dad let me use his car and I had my kids so it was a rough trip because they were pretty restless but again, I am so grateful.  Robert's softball game was cancelled today which I was excited about since that meant he got home a little bit earlier and we've missed him around here since he's been working so many nights and was in VA on his day off.  We are still anxiously waiting to hear on the job.  No news yet.  I got a little bit more laundry done and tomorrow I'm praying I have enough energy to finish it all and get the rest of my house cleaned.  One step at a time.  My main goal though, is NO MORE YELLING!  I need to stop- seriously.  I hate when I yell.  I need to have a "tongue of the angels."  Thank heavens for prayer.